Let's talk about men

There are many male characters in Malayalam cinema that fill our eyes. As a debt-ridden father who was forced to take up all the family debts on his own shoulders, as 'Valyettan', who had to forget his own life to build a happy life for his siblings, from 'Valsalyam', as 'chettachan' from 'Pavithram', as a sole breadwinner of the family, who was forced to move abroad; 'Puramanayil Chandran' from 'Mambazhakkalam', as the man who had to live all his good times abroad for his liabilities and siblings and later got exploited by his own children; 'Narayanan' from 'Pathemari' and the young man who had to go through a tough path only for his family, 'Joshua' from 'Koode'... Malayalam cinema had witnessed enough male characters that literally stirred up our minds. 

These are just a few examples. The lives of many people in this society are depicted in these. Since centuries, the responsibility of a house is taken by men. It is passed down from father to son. Apart from this, men face many other problems too. They have to endure many pressures and sacrifices to live the life of a 'man', which the society expects them to.

Expatriates who spend a large part of their lives in a foreign country to protect their home, sacrificing their country, locals and the life they love... destined to just listen or watch the beautiful moments of their lives from some far away places, who gives their blood and sweat to settle the family debts...

Young men, who have to shoulder the burdens of the family, when their father falls sick or dies and have to look for a job, abandoning their studies halfway through...

People around teaching them not to fear or cry, shackling their emotions, thus pressurizing them... Families insisting that men should be brave, protective, do things alone, and take responsibilities alone...

Boys who can't speak out even when they're being sexually exploited... 

Apart from these, there are certain masculine etiquettes, exclusively prescribed for men by the society. There are boys who are forced to do it even if they don't want to. 

If male, it is defined as liking sports, being good at driving and talking about cars, technology, games, and phones. 

Does not have any of these, does not have a beard or mustache / does not like to grow, sits in the library and reads, studies sitting on the front bench, does not bunk classes, obeys teachers and family members, does not drink, does not smoke, does cry at times, does not get angry, does not bring food to school/college in the afternoon, does not hang out at intersections, does not come to the cinema, does not go on trips, does housework, does not go out at night, does not go to the gym,  does not go to events and festivals, has female friends, walks with girlfriend, sits behind girls on scooter, likes pink, likes make-up and cooking, does not have that 'masculine characters' which were set by the society like the walk or talk, does not know double meaning jokes, does not talk about sex, and so on...

The teasing of society and the friend circle contributes in losing the confidence of many. 

It is the misconception of society that men should always be angry and dominant, that leads to the creation of so-called 'Kalippans & Kantharis'. It is when such groups of men come forward to confess their love and make fun if it fails, that they go for revenge. They are also tested by the society that makes them cannabis smokers if they grow their hair and beards, and label them as irresponsible if they follow their whims.

Another major problem is the family and society, who pressures them on to get a job right immediately after completing the course, and if not, leaving them to get teased infront of the public, bowing their heads down and leading to a less self-confidant and self-esteemed life ahead. Especially, they are labelled as 'vazha' and waste births if they're unemployed.

A boy and a girl who fall in love during their studies are then being tested in two ways. He is forced to get a job quickly due to the alliances coming up at home for the girl. At the age of 22 or 23 he has to wander for a good job. Taking responsibilities at an early age to protect their love. He is forced to show up his capabilities to convince her family. If it is not achieved, guilt and lack of self-confidence can accompany the loss of love. Sometimes it is only the man's responsibility to make a love come true !

If it's a 'burden' for the society to 'marry off' a girl, the same society is handing the 'burden' on the shoulders of a boy. What a great system ! 

Now if it is an arranged marriage, the interview and screening of the 'qualifications' will take place by the girl's family. 'The distinguished panels' to evaluate all the years of study, hard-earned job and life ! And those without a government job are considered as second class !

An average man's life is defined by strict discipline in childhood, pressure to study hard and earn a job and protect his family, get marriaged, get a house, good salary, raising children, educating them, children's marriage, whether there is savings, etc. 

Meanwhile, there are others who choose death with the burden of responsibility, debt, tension and depression.

Is there a solution ?

If yes, what and how ?

Wishing you all to have a good day. 

Thanking you :)