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I miss myself

Don't we all miss our old selves? Don't you look back at the past at least once? 


Little do I remember the old me, who walked holding my parents' hands. I still miss sitting on their laps and eat the food being fed by my mother, while watching T.V. 

Having no friends, I remember that girl, who used to play alone with her very few toys, yet being so happy and contented. 

I miss the old little school girl in me, who actually was so lazy to go to school everyday. She used to go in an auto rickshaw and it was her mother who used to tie her hair, every morning. She always carried idly to school as her lunch, which she hated so much then. I miss that school kid who used to walk around not knowing or being stressed of anything.
 

Every Saturday at 3pm, she attended her dance classes and I miss being scared of my teacher every time ! I extremely miss her being 'teachers' favourite' at school.

I often miss the tears of that fifteen-year-old girl who felt the pain of breaking up with her friends for the first time, after her 10th grade board exams. Little did she knew that the days back were actually golden !


I terribly miss travelling behind my grandpa's two-wheeler, though I always use it these days. I miss fighting with my brother and being on cloud nine when he breaks the silence after a fight. I miss the gifts my Dad brings me, after every time he returns from Sabarimala. And the list goes on and on...

I remember that 16-year-old, who felt like a grown-up, when she joined a school far away for her 11th grade. It was from there or that point, her life started to change, slowly but largely.

Nothing is the same anymore and I don't expect it to be too. Afterall, life is all about change ! Yet, the happiness that I lost somewhere in the past is priceless and I acknowledge its value.


Nowadays, life is all about the tensions and worries about tomorrow, along with the pain of loses. The innocence and honesty in my smile is not the same as before most of time. It feels like, life nowadays is just about showing others, rather than living myself. 

I often warn myself not to think much about tomorrow. But, circumstances around make me do so. 

Somewhere, I lost that kind, loving, happy me. Sometimes, I badly long to be that old kid, who roamed around literally without any worries. 
I searched everywhere for that happy little girl, though I couldn't find her yet. Maybe, she's somewhere around, out of my sight, smiling at me. And some day, I might find her...


Wishing you all to have a good day. 

Thanking you :)
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